When it comes to MI, it can be a lot of work to control how it affects us. You have two conditions that can be very challenging for your conscious mind to get under control. It's like when someone suffers from migrane headaches and they get so bad the person can't function. It's not something that person can JUST decide not to have and struggle with. And some have learned to do things despite the genuine pain of the migrane and others that don't have that problem don't know how challenging that makes doing tasks despite that pain is.


I have felt this myself in that I suffered horrible ptsd episodes and I felt frightened and very alone with it. Yet, as I mentioned other people are not going to genuinely understand it unless they experience it for themselves. In fact, people can say some throughtless and disrespectful things when it comes to ptsd. Like, it's the new in thing to say now. For someone who genuinely struggles with it, hearing that said in such a dismissive way can actually be triggering and disrespectful like what an abuser would say.


Oh boy, can I relate to this! My husband has witnessed me experience flashbacks, and he has witnessed someone who is extremely toxic trigger me into having a flashback too. Yet, he can say all the wrong things even though he witnesses it. YES!!! I have had that same kind of reaction where there was negativity and I tune that out because I too am hyperfocused on staying calm. That is why I wanted to focus on "that thing" with you. And I also noticed that while you did get triggered, you managed to overcome it too. It can be something a medication helps with to a certain extent. At least enough to notice "the thing" and better define it. I know that's important because in order to tame something the first step is "name it to tame it".

Wouldn't it be nice if others around us could understand that? I wish I could say any therapist would know, but that's not true either. Yet when one does actually know, it can make all the difference in the world.

It IS important though to keep in mind that your husband has witnessed you experience some really bad episodes, so in all fairness to him he won't know how bad you are going to get. That is scary for anyone and not an easy thing to be around. I try to keep that in mind when my husband reacts badly when I need him to be calm and more supportive instead.

We cannot go and change our past, however, it's important to one's mental health to understand how our past affected us in ways we did not realize and cause problems for us in the present. There are times where I can't understand what is triggering me, it can take a lot of time to figure it out. When I do figure it out and try to describe it and put it into words? The one thing I hate to hear is "well if you know that then JUST or DON'T ALLOW". Truth is that just because we identify something, it doesn't mean it JUST stops affecting us or isn't intrusive when something similar takes place.

People can say some pretty mean things. Yes, they can claim they know because maybe they read about a certain MI challenge, yet, their responses clearly show they STILL don't get it. When that happens, I have to try to work on being patient with that too on top of my inner challenge with PTSD and so many traumas that go way back for me. Oh I can definitely relate to "the more I pursue answers the worse it gets". I can't say enough the patience one has to develop to slowly unravel the things we may not have consciously realized hurt us and can come forward so intrusively. What I can say is that when some else "gets it", it's such a comfort and can help us not feel so alone with it.