So Sorry you're feeling like this. Try to make some time for yourself and to do the things you like doing, like reading or cooking. i agree with the wise and wonderful AzulOscuro about contacting a professional to better work it out! Please do not give up. You matter. Sending many Safe, Warm hugs to BOTH you, @annoyedgrunt84, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!