He said that I dissociated, and that happens a lot. Today, I hope made a difference, and that I remember what I felt. I want to live by myself, instead of feeling like a little kid getting guilt tripped into thinking I'm bad and worthless. Now it's time to reprogram my mind. The real trick is figuring out what works best for me. There's many options but any option only works when effort is applied. I've applied the minimum in many areas never really digging deep because I felt worthless.