I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through. It does sound like you're depressed, especially if this has lasted for the better part of two years. Two years is a long time to be down in a hole. I don't think that should be dismissed as simply something you have to go through because you're bipolar. With the right treatment, it should be possible to live a better life than that, or so they keep telling me and so I hope.

I've been depressed for a long time now as well, and I know what it's like to just want your life back. I wish I knew of a foolproof solution, but I don't. Your best bet would be to talk to your Pdoc about changing meds/treatment. Hopefully that can make a difference. That's not a magic bullet, but it beats street drugs. Other than that, sticking with good routines and positive thinking, like you've been doing, is definitely a good thing.