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Old Mar 07, 2021, 07:16 AM
Toughcooki Toughcooki is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2020
Location: Texas
Posts: 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee View Post
I felt depressed on and off for twenty years. I didn't have a good childhood, but it wasn't horrible either. I have seen my current therapist for literally hundreds of sessions. I was well over a year into seeing her before I started to see small amounts of actual change in my way of dealing with the world and in how I feel about myself. Now I still have down days and small bouts of depression, but it's nothing like it used to be. I sometimes feel self conscious about how much therapy I've had, but I clearly benefit from it. My T says that it took thirty years to get to where I am, so it's not all going to change overnight. I think the stability of my relationship with her is a big part of the healing, so in some ways, maybe you've barely even gotten started since you haven't been able to stay with one therapist. I don't think you're asking for too much, and I absolutely think you should try somebody outside the VA who does longer-term work, if that's an option for you. Not everyone feels the crushing weight of despair all the time, and I suspect you won't feel it either if you can get access to more comprehensive, compassionate treatment.
@ElectricManatee thank you SO much for that response. I'd be grateful for even a small improvement, but the constant rejection I feel like it's making things worse. And it does feel like rejection and a sort of 'you don't deserve any better than what you have' which is the exact message I've been trying to fight my whole life. I'll look for a long-term therapist, I think. Time to give up on the VA...
Hugs from:
ElectricManatee, RoxanneToto