So I get my mental health care from the VA. I have PTSD & MDD. I denied a need for mental health care for 20 years, was in a very firm state of denial, and only a few years ago reached out for help because I had a sort of 'omgcan'tcopeImfreakingout' episode of several months duration. Since then, I've seen several therapists, each of whom passed me off to another therapist for a different kind of therapy after a few months. Last therapist before this one announced that the VA had tried everything, and as far as she was concerned, I was done with therapy, I had all the tools I needed, and other veterans need help too, so tah-dah no more therapy for me. I cried, and begged, (embarrassing!!) and said - I can't imagine living the rest of my life like this, I need help to figure this stuff out.
She said I'd be fine, the end.
After chewing on it a few weeks, I called a different branch of the VA and they put me on a 6+ month waiting list for EMDR, and in the meantime, passed me off to another therapist. Well, I've seen that therapist 8 times, and he told me today that I have a 'good foundation' and the VA doesn't like people to be in therapy more than 12 weeks. During the conversation, I told him that when I blank my mind and emotions that's the only way I can stop crying. He told me maybe I should stop thinking about myself so much, then. I told him I feel that I have no value outside of what I can do for people. He said that's 'shame', and everyone feels that same way.

So, fellow people in need of support - is that true? is the way I feel the way EVERYONE feels, but they just handle it better? If so, that is the most tragic thing I've ever heard in my entire life.

If that's true, I just need to firm up my backbone and stop being a wuss and asking for more therapy isn't going to help anything. But I really need to know if it's true. I hate continually having to ask for help. I hated asking for help the first time, but going back with my stupid hand out asking for "More, Please" only to get told I'm being selfish and greedy is not something I can handle much longer.
If I do need therapy, I need to find a way to express that need so that they don't keep brushing me off.

If everyone really feels the exact same crushing weight of despair and emptiness and black-hole-soul I do, then God Help us all.