So Sorry that things have been so hard for you. i agree with the wise and wonderful Yaowen about trying out Marriage counseling. Hopefully she will accept to work on this with you. If she refuses then i am not sure if there is much else that you can do but do not give up. Unfortunately pandemic has likely made things hard for many people. i Hope and Pray that you will BOTH be able to work things out. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @BetrayedGamer, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!