So almost 7 years ago I met this women from Match, my first profile I was sent actually (I had moved over to Match from being a long time Eharmony user). It had been over 20 years since my first divorce, I was very comfortable in my own skin and comfortable being single. We hit it off immediately, we had so much in common! We got married in less than a year afterwards, bought a home and an RV together a year later.

Everything was great until the pandemic. Both her and her daughter (from another marriage) were home at the time. While we love our family time, having 2 people work and one person school under one roof, day after day, got us all on edge. Tempers often flared and the “romance” of our relationship started to fade. One of our common interests is gaming…video, board, card, camping…pretty much anything. There was this video game we used to play 2 player (split screen) that also has an online component. One day we tried playing the online version and got hooked. It meant we had to take turns, but we loved to watch each other play at first. Eventually we got familiar with other players and would occasionally be in a voice chat with them. I grew bored with the game but she was addicted, so when it was my turn we’d play other 2 player games or I’d play something alone. She got more and more involved in the social voice chatting element, eventually it became an all night thing. Then an every night thing. I was expected to either watch or go upstairs and watch tv anytime she was home. I tried joining the chat as well, getting to know these people. They seemed like nice guys. One of them, a 30 year old (my wife is 46) got especially close to my wife, eventually his Facebook was on her account and he was calling & texting outside of the game.

About a week ago I was fed up with it. After asking to play something together and being refused, I stormed up stairs to take a nap. She came up and gave me the third degree about being constricting to her and not letting her have freedom (wait, isn’t marriage about a partnership?). I told her how I felt, emotionally abandoned, unimportant, unloved. She said she doesn’t think it’s going to get any better. I left the house a bit to cool off, came back and had another conversation with her. It boiled down to the fact that I wasn’t affectionate anymore and that we had nothing in common (which is pretty laughable because we have more in common than not). Another conversation turned into she wants me out of the house and to give her space. She has refused every attempt that I’ve conversed with her at trying to fix this, going to marriage counseling, or trying to talk it out anymore.
We came to a compromise that I would stay in the guest room and try my best to “be invisible”. She hasn’t specifically said “divorce” but has been indicating it. We’re technically separated. I don’t want to give up on the marriage at all. All of her concerns she’s given me I understand and want to fix. And I’m not even the one having the online affair! I really want to do marriage counseling, so we can talk this through with a neutral party.

My questions are this (thank you to whoever has read this far):
I have (and continue to think up) new things to say that may convince her to at least try marriage counselling, yet the only thing she’s asked of me is to give her space. However I overhear (not eavesdropping, just can hear occasionally) her discussing on the phone (with family or the 30 year old guy) convincing herself out loud she’s making the right decision. I know her and know she loves to justify things over and over out loud. Do I continue to give her space and wait this out or interject my thoughts on fixing things before it gets too late?

I know I’m not healing at all being in the house with her. Do I move out to focus on myself or again, wait it out? If there’s any chance of saving this I am willing to put up with anything.

Should I even be focused saving the marriage due to how she’s treated me?