My Support Forums - View Single Post - Welcome to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder forum

Repentive · Mar 07, 2021 at 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by diane7260

Hello
I don't know where to start, so I'll just jump in. I came to this site to find support for myself, because I have come to believe my 36 year old daughter has Narssessisitic Personality Disorder.

Her situation was a perfect storm to develop the disorder. Her father was narcissistic and she was everything to him. Of course, because she was important to him, she had to be important to everyone, in the world. This went beyond the normal father loves and is proud of his daughter. And me, I just went along with it all to keep the peace. At 3, her father had a massive brain hemorrhage.

Raising her was like constantly walking on egg shells. It was so difficult to correct her in anything, cause cause she would perceive it as a threat as to how she saw things.

Now she is 36 years old. She gets so enraged for what I see as nothing. She got mad, for example, cause I did housework. I was ignoring her. There is no defending myself to her or rationalizing with her. And once things die down and she needs something or just wants attention, she comes to me like nothing happened. This is how it's been

I physically can't do this anymore. I have heart failure and this has too many devastating effects on me. And I can not go on.

Now I know, and understanding, my responsibility in all this. And I have allowed this to happen partly because of the guilt. So please don't go pointing fingers and blaming. I am pass that now. I have put up boundaries -small ones but boundaries and she is not happy with me. I know she is totally unhappy with herself and her life. She has a mega ego but no self esteem and I love her so much.

help?

Diane, I want to throw this out there. First, I am sorry for the pain and anguish you bare. As in my wife's case it must be tough on you. I wish i could get this point across to my wife. They are not certain what pre-disposes to the development of NPD. They suspect and I agree it is multi-causational. I read this one internet article that "it" could be precipitated by an emotional trauma at a critical developmental period and then being raised in an environment that has both overindulgence (spoiling ie; overcompensation and possibly continued emotionally damaging atmosphere) but how it is caused may be "mute". The "die" is cast now what to do about it. From my perspective if my behaviors are a deeply ingrained pattern of behaviors to "avoid shame" then an emotional atmosphere where I am constantly "triggered" to react in my old "maladaptive" protective behavior is defeating. Not to say i shouldn't have "boundaries" imposed but they should be imposed in a way that is "non-threatening" (if that is possible). Feeling threatened just promotes further reliance on "protective BAD behaviors. Hope this helps.