I think I'd be coping better if I was doing better physically. I watched call the midwife today, and watching the babies in it was calming. however, I'm in so much ****ing back pain, and not just that, my physical state in general is just going down hill. it doesn't take sherlock holmes here to realise that my body is just ****ed. I can see now why a life in a wheelchair was baught up as a possible future result of this ongoing ****.