"Cause my T isn't awake at 2 AM, lol. Like I explained in my original post, I need immediate interaction to stop further SI."

I am sorry I didn't read this in your post anywhere I even looked again, I was just wondering why you didn't call your T. I am not criticizing you, I just thought you would call him instead of a hotline.

I thought you could call a T anytime that it is that important, to save you from doing worse. I know T's don't like that, but it is part of their job when they are on call. I know my T said I could call anytime, maybe not all T's do this? My T has a answering service where they screen the calls to see if it is an emergency which your sounded like it was.

I am curious about what to say to someone in that situation of wanting to do worse to themselves. What can you say that helps them not go further? Or is it more important to keep them occupied or distracted?