Hey Toughcookie! Sounds like you know exactly what I'm going through since you've gone through the exact same thing with your family.

I don't know why I wasted the past 30 years of my life around these family members. But at least I have the sense now to walk away.

I don't even talk to my cousins anymore on either side of my parents' families. They never make an effort to reach out to me, so I won't bother reaching out to them.

My brother and I are permanently estranged and now my sister and I will be estranged soon. Her BIL is holding a grudge against me, b/c he is upset that I left the temp agency where he works in IT, after the temp agency recruiters refused to accept my applications for their temp to hire roles due to me being over 40 (i.e. ageism).

For the past year, he's held this grudge against me, as if I'm responsible for his work reputation or his feelings. I'm not responsible for those things at all. I only joined his temp agency b/c I was looking for work. Meanwhile, I gave that agency a few months and nothing happened, so after I spoke to the agency manager, I left. If my BIL wants to hold that against me, then let him. He acts like such an a**hole towards me now it's really pathetic.

What bothers me about my sister is her interference with our mother's care who is in a memory care facility. My sister gets medical updates on our mother's health but won't share those updates with me, so I constantly have to chase after the nursing director for those same updates.

My sister has always undermined me and she's not the oldest either -- I am. Any successes I've had, she is automatically jealous of and finds a way to sabotage me, especially where romantic relationships are concerned. She has told past boyfriends to "run" away from me and told them that I was mentally ill and cuckoo.

If I ever decide to date anyone I will tell them I am not in touch with my family and if the guy has a problem with that, he's not the right guy for me.

Why do some families have to be so damn toxic!!