I feel like there is no way out. It's getting worse again. 10 days ago my therapist took me off Quetiapine because my liver is damaged from all the medication. And I am just completely lost. My mood is getting worse every day. Today I realized it may be because of those medication I can not take anymore.

I do not know if I am splitting. But I hate everyone. And I hate everything. I don't know what to do. I isolated myself from everyone because I just can't socialize. Today I didn't go to uni/college. I just couldn't. I stayed in bed all day. I can't get up. It hasn't been this bad in a long time. I'm having serious suicidal thoughts again. I hate life.
My psychiatrist isn't answering my calls so I called some random psychologist today and she said to come tommorow whenever I have time. I'm scared of that appointment. I am falling apart. I don't even feel love towards my boyfriend anymore. I can't do this anymore. I hate BPD.

What do I do to survive???