I want to be careful about how I respond to this, because I'm afraid that if I say too much that it may identify my therapist. When I was researching him prior to beginning treatment with him, I found out two pieces of information that I guess my therapist would not want me to know. He has gone through the death of a spouse and he is immunocompromised due to a significant, but not debilitating, illness. As we are living in the Plague, he's alluded to his illness a couple of times by saying that he can super not get COVID, but was no more specific than that. He's never mentioned or alluded to the death of his spouse.

His illness doesn't much affect me, except the couple of times that he alluded to it I had the urge to blurt out, "I know! You have blank!" but thankfully I was able to resist. As for his spouse, this one is harder. I have been married to my husband for 11 years, and overall we have a pretty healthy marriage with minimal issues. When I talk about issues I may have with my husband, my therapist doesn't appear affected by it, and he surprisingly has amazing relationship advice. I've found myself thinking that if he practiced what he preaches, he likely had a very happy marriage. I wonder if he's been through his own therapy and how he as an individual copes.

Overall I'm able to keep those kind of thoughts and feelings out of the session, though I do find that it's helpful to discuss these things with other people. My husband and a couple of my friends know these details, as I don't feel comfortable talking about them in therapy. The therapeutic relationship is weird in that it is focused solely on the client, but the therapist certainly has an impact on the client as well. I would say that since the therapist knows what you know, if it's affecting your daily living, be open to processing that with them. A skilled therapist will be able to navigate that conversation in a way that is healthy for you. I would also lean on your social network for support.