So Sorry about what happened! i agree with the wise and wonderful CANDC about seeing a therapist that may help you to cope with situation similar to this. Please do not give up as you have the capability to get through this in my opinion. i Hope and Pray things ewill improve for everyone. Hugs. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @black-roses, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!