Hi guys, I have a strange situation going on: I feel like my childhood dreams are chasing me, even though I’m not even sure if I want them!!

. Since I was a kid, I ‘ve dreamt of being famous & on stage, doing music or acting. I was sent to do dance by my parents when I was 3 and nagged them to let me play piano at 6. Piano was my choice, with dance it was kind of just always there. I am emphasizing this because I am trying to see which desires are mine and which aren't. I was also writing songs and stories but barely sharing with anyone.
With dance it was different - I was on stage and stuff. There was a lot of pushing myself and comparing myself to others. I’d quit dance on and off but I love the movement so I’d always come back. With music I was more private and quit music school after 7 yrs. During my uni years, I was performing dance here and there, had kind of a love-hate relationship with it an eating disorder and constantly comparing myself to others. I also taught dance for 2 years and did theatre. I was feeling exhausted though. I loved the atmosphere of stage, theatre, being surrounded by creative artistic people but was just feeling like others were always better somehow. I've received lots of compliments but it never felt like enough and my energy levels were quite low.
I’ve started and dropped MANY creative projects. Some projects were completed but I was too shy to share with anyone. I kind of lost faith in my ability to maintain anything long-term.

I am almost 28 now and each time I look at young musicians or creative people in the spotlight in general, i feel so, so ******. I admire them, I adore them but I also feel SO jealous & miserable that I didn’t achieve that. I start blaming myself for not being persistent enough but I am also Really tired of pushing myself and having these huge expectations. I’d love to develop in a creative field or fields but I feel totally overwhelmed by this inner dialogue and the amount of younger people who’ve ‘already made it’. I think they are so much more talented than I am and I will never achieve that level, I've lost time. Sometimes I wish I lived on a deserted island in a very small community without internet, so I wouldn’t be exposed to such a wide range of successful people :\ I am not proud of these thoughts, kind of the opposite.
Any advice - raw, honest sincere advice - would be appreciated.