So Sorry about your struggles! i can relate to what you're saying as i also have plenty of difficulty with making Friends irl and with unexpected changes. Are you currently seeing a therapist or pdoc? i feel like that may prove useful to start working on yourself! Please do not give up. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Winnie973, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!