I live a life similar to yours, I do it all. He just lies to lie. He hurts me and dissapoints me constantly. We met through an affair, my husband was on his way out and he claimed so was his wife. But later I find that not to be true. Nothing is true about our relationship anymore. He put out the bait I took it. I found out that during our relationship, prior to getting married, he was still having sex with his wife. She knows things she shouldn't, very, very personal things. He states he has no idea how she knows that stuff...but he does, they talked about me to get off. I did not know any of this prior to getting married to him. He actually lies to me on a regular basis about it. I know it is very true. He lies talking to friends, always exagerrating about himself. He lies to family. He lies to me. I can hardly believe a word out of his mouth. I keep wanting to trust him so badly.................but he ruins it all the time. He hurts me over and over and over again and I am expected to take it. But I can't. I really only think he keeps me around to do the maternal duties. He is more worried about paying childcare than anything else. I am disabled and bring in 35K, but he says I don't make enough money. Well, we don't pay childcare. I am home to always care for the children, most men would think that was great, but not my husband. Of course he used to say he did, but it was all bologna. I know he had sex with his wife while he was seeing me, nothing will ever change my mind. I am waiting for some kind of sign to know exactly what to do. My doc said I can not make a decision now, because I am mourning the loss of the man I thought I married. Hey I ain't easy to get along with but I try. I love and am no longer loved by him. I want to make him happy, but he just goes about his business watching what he wants when he wants, doing what he wants when he wants. We used to do everything together. But that was before. I live with a stranger (the man I used to know resurfaces about 10 minutes a week). Why must he continue to lie to me? Why did he hurt me? How is that fair? We had a baby and after becoming pregnant, I thought that would bring us closer, it didn't work. All one wants from a narcissist is love and compassion. Guess what, you aren't ever going to get it. You got caught hook, line and sinker.....he was smooth reeling you in, but now your just a conquest and are being used for whatever, say it be the house, child care, paying the bills, handling everything when all he really does is go to work and never lets you forget it. But now I am acting, trying to pretend in my head it will get better. He will one day admit the truth. He will one day love me like he seemed to early on. But I know it isn't ever going to happy. It is so sad to be lonely in a house loving someone and not getting anything in return. I feel for you. You need to go. I may hit my breaking point one day and it sounds like you did. Reading about narcissist, it says run, run far away. Now I know why. RUN!!!