I know clozaril is scary sounding but it's not that bad once you are used to it. The blood work is annoying for the first 6 months and then isn't so bad. I'm at 5 years in and I really don't think about it anymore.

The risk of having problems with the white blood count is very, very low. My pdoc hasn't seen it happen. It's kind of an old rule that they check it so carefully; they just are too afraid to move on from the monitoring according to what I've read.

The side effects aren't bad. The only 2 I hate are that I drool in my sleep (manageable) and I have some incontinence at night (manageable with pads). No big deal. I did go on Metformin to help with weight gain/keeping my weight stable. That helped until my family member died in December and I gained weight while grieving. I need to work on that but there's time.

If you have questions feel free to ask. Like I said I've been on it 5 years and in that time I haven't been IP, I have only had mild episodes and much of the time I've been pretty stable.

I do understand the anxiety, btw. I had a hard time going on it but once I did I was glad I did.