Before I start, I want to say that I am very new to this world, just diagnosed this week. And to be honest, I liked it better before I was diagnosed. I at least know what is going on in my head now, but at the same time I feel like I need my hypomania to stay sane, and with medication, I worry that I won't ever feel happy or driven again.
I enjoy being manic. It's like getting high without the side effects of smoking. I just want to feel the strong emotions that keep me on my toes, the euphoria. I don't want to lose that. I do, however, want to lose the depression.
I can't stand not being able to get out of bed or take showers or clean my room or go to school. I'd get rid of that side of me in a heartbeat. But I feel like mania is such a part of me that if I treat it, I will lose a part of myself. I still want spontaneity and fun. I don't want to be normal. I want to be me.