Part of me coming out of my first ever depression after my first ever severe manic break has me back to my introspective problem solving mind. I have always journaled my life and self-taught myself through school and life. I talk through my life with family and friends and never ever needed therapy for any major problem I have ever had in my past and believe me there have been PLENTY!! But I think I began hiding parts of me and not telling the whole truth about certain things because I always wanted to be perfect and have people see me that way. When I had my episode all my wires were crossed and everything came spewing out....

So now that I’m in a stable state I realized that I am not going to get the enormous and loud all over my back tattoo that I told my husband I was going to get and he said I always said I didn’t want a tattoo.... in reality when I was 18 I did want one. BUT I looked at tattoo shops all the time and could never settle on one. Nothing stood out to me and I wasn’t going to get something that I knew I would not like in 10 or 20 years. I’ve always flip-flopped on things I liked one day and hated the next, even guys. So I could not decide on a tattoo, instead I got my tongue pierced because I knew I could take it out one day.... and I did! I kept it till my oldest daughter (I have 2 of them) turned about 2 or 3. I didn’t want her to ever remember I had one. I tried not to influence her to be “bad.” Remember I wanted to be perfect, and the perfect mother and example for my child. So then I began to even swear off tattoos. Not because they are bad, but because again I didn’t want to influence her... even though I enjoyed my tongue ring and I would have loved the perfect tattoo.... but there isn’t anything that is truly perfect.... my first daughter really saved me.... I was on a terrible path after I turned 18.... I did drugs and her father was abusive. When I got pregnant I ran from him and quit drugs. I eventually went to college and I am now a teacher. I always told her she was “the best mistake I ever made.” Because SHE saved me from my dark path.... so now that I’ve gone through HELL and back, tormented by 7 months of severe major depression... I realized that I just never could decide on a tattoo because they Never meant anything to me..... but my daughter means the world to me.... so I’ve been searching for mother/daughter tattoos. Do any of you have any? I used to call her baby squash and she called me momma squash so we are thinking of doing that but it may just be words because I can’t find any cute images of squash!!