Thank you so much for your replies! I know it was very long post. I just think, it all makes even less sense without the issues about my past.
I view it like @mickeyChicky. I understand that it depends on how a couple chooses to go about honesty. And here we were living with different values over a long time. And I see how he must be hurting.
He doesnt understand, how it made sense at the time and that I changed my views. To him it is a violation of trust and commiting to more honesty now it too late.
At the same time, I feel misunderstood. Maybe I just have to accept that.