So Sorry that things are being hard! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters. It may simply not be worth it if you also have to deal with misery later. i think it may be wiser to focus on having a more balanced but happy Life. Definitely try to work with a therapist and Pdoc to handle all this. You Deserve to Feel Better. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Marvelousparker, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!