When we have those intense painful appointments that makes me feel full of shame it makes me want to push you away after yet also want to seek out reassure that I am okay and you do not feel same horrible things about me that I feel. You are so caring and compassionate in the appointments but once we log off the computer it all goes away. You encourage me text if I need to but I also know part of how you are practicing self care right now often means you are turning you phone off on the days you do not work. So you will not receive it for a few days. So that is not helpful to me