Just a quick update. After I started opening up about this in some of my personal social media I started talking a lot with a woman who said she knew exactly how I felt because she was the same waty. With a head that was never "at rest", etc. And she has ADHD. And she asked me if I had ever got checked for it. Sent me a lot of articles about how it presents in women and it can be quite different from how it presents in men. And I have been to see a psychiatrist who thinks I do actually have ADHD, but I am not through any formal testing yet. Maybe I will finally find an explannation and a way to be at peace with myself and the world. And not have this constant "noise" going on inside and unable to put anything aside and really focus on whatever I am supposed to be doing.