When my son was two, he went through a lot of changes. They say there are five major life experiences that will change your life (1) a death (2) moving into/out of a home (3) a birth (4) divorce (separation) and (5) marriage. Well when my son was two, his sister was born, me and his father broke up and were now living in two separate households. On top of his terrible twos, and being potty trained. He went through almost every major life changing experiences. He ended up with separation anxiety, and attention deficit disorder. He began therapy when he was in second grade because of his behavior at school.

Then when he was four, his father was shot, and since he needed time to recover, they didn't get to see him so they thought he was dead. But when he turned ten, his father was deported, and three years later he stopped communicating with anyone. So since 2016, he is what people consider dead. So my son went through a lot of emotional obstacles. Also, when he was ten, my family called cps on me, and he blamed himself for them "taking him and his sister" from me. I tried as best I could to reassure him that nothing he did was ever his fault or anything that happened was his fault.

At fifteen, he ended up a group home which he would constantly ran away from, and eventually lost ties to all of my family. During the time, I was in an abusive relationship where he would stalk me and threaten to find my children of I ever left. I felt that for the safety of my children it was better I stayed away from them. Then in 2017, my ex finally decided to leave me alone and so I began to try and be a part of my son's life. However, he had his own agenda and my parents didn't tell me too much about what was really going on. For a year, not even my parents knew his whereabouts. When I was finally trying to get myself together after six years of abuse, my son still did not trust me, and I understood.

The beginning of 2018, he was arrested for grand theft auto and breaking and entering, charges brought in by my parents. I told him I'd go with him to his first court date, but as I mentioned before, he did not trust me. So for a year, I was more involved in his life. I made sure not to change my number or lose my phone (which my ex used to do) so that whenever he called I would answer. He will be nineteen in May now and it has been a rough two to three years for both of us, but he is coming aroung because I want more than anything for him to trust me again which is going pretty well. When he used to visit or call every few weeks now he comes over two three times a week if not he calls me to check in.

However, now he has said something that I wish I could believe because he is my son. He believes that God talks to him. He believe his answers are coming through God himself. And I say, why not? I know God answers prayers - he hasn't directly answered me - but I have seen things happen after I had prayed for his help. For example, while I was with my ex, I could say I was homeless as well. He would kick me out and if I went home, he'd do drastic things to make me want to come out I'd avoid my family from seeing the things he would do. At the same time I got pregnant and all I could do was pray for my baby to come out healthy. I didn't go to regular doctor visits, nor took prenatal care, and I almost had a miscarriage or at least I thought, but I prayed with all of my heart that my baby came out healthy and "normal" not disabled or deformed.

It may sound mean, but with out prenatal care, and a doctor for guidance it was a huge risk being homeless and preganant. When my baby was born the doctor checked her before looking at her chart and congratulated me on having a healthy baby. I didn't get a forward answer from God, but that proved to be that my prayers were answered. So how do I tell my son that it isn't possible for God to directly be talking to him?