So, update I guess. I had my first ego-therapy style session today.
It required a lot of will power and concentration for me to let go. and follow T's guidance. Sounds like a contradiction, but it really did.

She told me to close my eyes and walk down a stairway into the past and to sit next to my child self and tell her everything she needs to know... this took most of the session, coming back up almost the rest and discussing it took us I think 10min over the time (which is not unusual for us). My eyes were closed for most of the session, and I cried (just tears, not sobbing).

For that part of myself, it was nice, for me in general though rather strange and I actively had to keep away thoughts in that direction Overall, I think this is a good way for me to get a closer connection to and better handle on my emotions.