I hate how SH urges come up out of nowhere. Like everything will be fine and then....
BAM!

Out of nowhere, here's an urge. And it's like, oh here we go again, I want to cut.

My T keeps telling me that I don't really want to do it anymore. (Because I haven't done it in a while.) And I keep telling her she doesn't understand. Because I know I do still want to do it. I am just choosing not to.

Of course, at any time, after Lent, I can choose to do so again. But I don't really want to get sucked up in the spiral. But that doesn't mean that I don't really want it.

Kit