Dealing with grief, loss, sadness, emptiness is something I'm somewhat accustomed to, due to my job.

In a weird way, I'm happy I don't, but good god I wish I could put up the "wall" that I use while working, when it's a colleague. Distancing myself from the pain and trauma that others feel is something of a skill that I've developed over nearly a decade, and it doesn't work in any way shape or form for someone close.

I'm missing them already, and it's only been half a day. I feel awful that when I think of their partner and daughter, I feel nothing but emptiness.. I don't usually run out of empathy for others.