YOU NEED TO GET OUT!!!!! This man is killing your soul! Please, consider what his behavior is doing to the children, they see how he treats you. Sometimes men are good actors, sometimes they create a fantasy, and it's too much work to maintain it, and who they really are comes out.

You sound like a caring, loving person, and you deserve someone who will care for and love you. Don't stay because you're afraid to admit you made a mistake, he's the one who is making a mistake by taking you for granted and treating you poorly. Leave, take care of yourself and your kids, and let him worry about taking care of himself. As for his kids, I would talk to their mom, tell her I was leaving, and ask if you could continue some sort of relationship with them.

What a mess...I am so sorry. You fell in love with the wrong man, but that doesn't mean falling in love is wrong. Try to find your strength and take care of yourself.

CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!