Dear T,
Unsure whether the grenade will go off or not... I think we discussed some important stuff, but you know that one aspect of what we talked about, the forgiveness, is a really difficult topic for me. I really wish it had been a Monday or Wednesday session instead of Friday. Especially because I'd feel worse if I ended up emailing you tonight/tomorrow vs. a workday.


And this is really stupid and pathetic, but part of me wished you'd actually confirmed in there that of course you care. You said something sort of implying it, and I know I said that I don't need the words, that your actions show it. But damn it, I still want the words sometimes... Part of me wants to say that for you, but maybe if you still refused to say that, I'd feel worse. But like I said, the anxious side of my anxious attachment was triggered by the realization that I sort of accepted your caring without your saying it.


So perhaps you'll get an email about that instead. Or the stuff with my mom. Or something else entirely.

Love,
LT