I don't know how, but L and I have worked through similar. I used to think I would taint her or her space in some way. Like hugging her or holding her blanket or talking about ex-T; are just some examples. She reassures me that I haven't tainted her. I also am worried that she feels stuck with me or regrets things/our relationship. She also reassures me she has no regrets.

L knows how attached I am to her. She even knows I have maternal transference with her. I'm glad she knows. It's a secret I don't have to hide. I wish I remember how I was able to communicate such things, but I don't.