Last week we moved into our new house. It’s a disorganized mess but it’s coming along. Honestly neither me nor RS feel like doing much after work! And this week has been so miserable in terms of weather (just cold and rainy and blah) that I’ve just wanted to come home and snuggle up. Tomorrow RS is going to the old house to get the stuff out of the backyard. Our table and chairs and the rest of his “toys” lol. Lawnmowers and the like. We’re probably also going to steal some plants - don’t judge us, the yard was an overgrown mess when we got there and RS worked very hard to get it looking as good as it does now. There are a lot of double daffodils on the side of the old house so I’m going to take a few, RS wants his hostas that he planted. My grandma told me to dig up the strawberries we planted last year too. We have a nice defined bed at the new house. Looks like the possible azaleas on the far side are close to being dead, but I did see a bit of green when I snapped off a branch on the one. It’s hard to know if we’ll be able to bring it back as the branch did snap easily.
In other news I have decided to start meal prepping my lunches. And I decided to do a lot of vegetarian dishes as most meat is just unappetizing to me now. I feel like I can eat it for dinner but I don’t want heavy meals for lunch. I’m going to try a rainbow roasted vegetable and Coucous dish and maybe some Caesar salads for the first week. Trying to maybe do some protein smoothies in the AM but I generally don’t leave time in the morning for anything but throwing **** in my lunch bag.
I feel these days like I never had bipolar in the first place. I definitely have depressive episodes, hell I just got out of one, but I haven’t had even a hypomanic episode that lasted more than a day or two since 2018. I dunno. However I also came to the realization that I was never as “high functioning” as I believed I was. It’s just I ignore everything until I completely break down. That’s my pattern - ignore the signs and wait until it’s so bad someone forces me inpatient. BUT at the same time I’m coming up on 3 years IP free, which hasn’t happened since 2012 when all this **** went down.
Everything is just so complicated, I guess it’s better not to think about it.