I still can't sleep. Been laying in bed staring at the ceiling for almost an hour now (since 3 am) and decided the heck with it and just got up. I was hoping that talking with L yesterday would help me sleep a full night but no. Here I sit. Dang it.

I should have figured I guess... it's because I'm so torn about going back to weekly sessions. I made the decision to do it because my dream from earlier in the week clearly told me to, and I didn't need L's "clinical opinion" about it all to make the decision. I'm just still torn about it. I'm curious about this - curious about why I am often like this when I make a decision about something. H doesn't understand it at all, he says when we talk about it "once I make a decision, it's the right one, and that's all there is to it." I have never in my life been that way about almost every decision. Always second, third, fourth to infinity-guessing myself.