i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters. i don't think they were particulary awful choices and moments similar to yours can happen to everyone i think. i think writing down the decisions you plan on making is a good idea to at least see if there are any intendend consequences about doing certain things. Please be kind to yourself. i Hope the posts here will help at least a bit. Sorry if i didn't add much. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @RoxanneToto, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!