I think ADHD may be playing a role in this for you, and I can relate to this myself. I suspect I have it and have not been diagnosed. My one son has, my other son recently has been diagnosed, too, and we suspect several family members have it.

Aside from the problems ADHD causes with distraction, there are behavioral issues associated with it. I think it plays a role in my issues, though it’s so hard to separate one diagnosis from another like MDD, EDD, BPD, OCD etc... the lines blurr between them.