Hey Jazz ,

I'm new to this forum, btw ;]

I know it's a tough one. I'm relatively new to all these things 'cause I was just diagnosed last January, and I'm just 20 years old. Like Suzy, I did a fair amount of suicidal attempts (shame, yes) and it's really hard. We all go through tough times. During my time, everything was against me - boyfriend, family, friends - and no one knew I was suicidal, and that I hurt myself countless times.

Until they found out.

I think the best way, Jazz, is to seek professional help. Perhaps you couldn't trust anyone right now, but the psychiatrists are there for a reason. It would also help if someone you're close to know of your condition. Trust me, it's effing hard to go through these things ALONE.

I also had those times when I think about "what ifs" and dark thoughts seeing as they're my escape mechanism with what's happening in reality. It's a phase, but it's not good. Jazz, you also have to help yourself but if you can't, please do seek professional help ;]

It's a rollercoaster ride, but you have to endure it.

<font color="purple">Clandestine</font>