The Reasons Not To, post really helped me process, before it got to be an issues.

I did, i am ashamed to say take a knife to my arm today, however, I stopped myself before it got worse.
I really am trying, I'm trying hard, but I feel very alone, I feel stuck in my head, and i'm just broken up, my usual 'go to's" for fun, just aren't anymore. I do them mundanely, because I know I have to. I just want this to be over. I never thought i'd be back here, feeling like this.

I really do love the support from everyone here. The shared understanding is what keeps me in check, especially as I know it will get better. It just takes time.

I have got a meeting with a new therapist tomorrow, which, I am nervous about. But i'm going to stick it out and see what can help. I think sometimes I am just afraid of my own shadow some days. What am I capable of? I'm sure you've been here too.

Thanks for listening/reading. I'm not looking for sympathy. Just a friend.