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Originally Posted by Ladytmt
Thanks for your response. I’m still trying to make sense of what happened and of course asking the circling question what did i do wrong along with trying to sort out what anything he said means because he talks in circles., nothing is ever resolved. He always treated me like the enemy, and i think some of the negative behaviors towards me was jealousy of my accomplishments. After all he worked a job 21 years and got fired for performance, and sadly he has nothing to show for his years of service. People choose how they want to live but 21 years is a long time to not at least have a suitable functioning place to live.
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When a relationship is problematic, it's important not to decide you did something wrong when the other person treats you badly. You are now learning to pay attention to the clues that mean the other person isn't going to be a healthy person to be in a relationship with. When a person is abusing alcohol, it's a huge red flag because you are already competing with something that is more important to the person and can contribute to their being very moody and having poor skills and where they tend to lose jobs, argue, miss work, and don't have reliable housing.
And the problem simply gets worse with time. You are trying to reason with a person that is not mentally capable of reasoning because the addiction always takes priority.