Griffy2, I too am probably a "narcissist". There isn't much "sympathy" for the victimizers, (seems like all the commentators prefer to express sympathy for the victims and ignore the victimizers even the ones who are remorseful and seeking to change). I wish you well. I know I have made my spouse's life miserable which i can't change what I have done but i have suffered as a result of this "behavior". To drive away people who mattered to me, opportunities lost, jobs lost, and just recently a long time friend who I confided in as to why I am in a home less shelter didn't return my call(?). I feel like my life was "ripped off" by circumstances which I had no control of. I am in pain.