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because of unmet childhood needs, what exactly do you want from your therapist? What do you want them to do with you? Take you home with them? Treat you like one of their children? Hang out like buddies?
I keep asking this young part of me, that is so insanely attached, what does it exactly want from him? The shame just well ups inside of me. It wants to be part of his family. To be involved in his life everyday outside of therapy. Not just 1 hr a week. To be loved back.
That is something it can never have and all I feel from it is heavy grief like someone you love deeply has died and you can never have access to that person again. It is just heavy choking feeling.
My T and I are trying to work through this but I just do not see this going away anytime soon and it is so painful.
So what do you want from T?
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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