Here’s an old one, I hope this doesn’t push the line to offensive—

An elderly gentleman in a nursing home sits in a comfortable chair. He leans over in the chair a little to the right. A nurse passes by and props him back up. He leans over a little to the left. A nurse passes by and props him back up. Later, his children come to visit him and ask him how he likes living there. He says, “It’s alright, but they never let you fart.”