It’s been a while since I have been on... life got crazy... then ugly... then some more crazy as it so often does. Anyway... back on an up swing starting a new job tomorrow that I am excited about... but that’s not why I stopped by...
Awesome T is still awesome... it really can happen. We go back and forth between video and in person sessions based on what is going on in his life. He is moving towards retirement, no longer taking new clients, reorganizing his practice and traveling more with his wife (safely).
Today was an in person session. I went up with a throw blanket in my purse and curled up on the couch. T commented that he has never seen me so comfortable and relaxed. It is rare for me, even at home, to be so relaxed so he had a point. It was a good session and we are making progress... less trauma stuff and more what now? Kind of stuff. We are going to try to read a book together that “my” now retired priest suggested in a sermon. T has been worried about my spiritual health. We talk about his retirement, what kind of life he wants to create for himself in this new phase... it was a wonderful role model of how we are always growing, changing, healing and creating our life.
Last session we talked about the disaster that was T2 and where I am with that. Once I get settled into the new job and finances are better we are going to try it again. This time we are going to start with sessions with all three of us. It has become clear that I still struggle with women and some personality types... T2 is both... I want to work through it and know that T1 being a man and not that personality type he can’t really help much other than coaching and support.

Awesome T is still awesome. Loving, nurturing, supportive, consistent... awesome T. I am learning more about myself now as I am better able to reflect on things between us. I am feeling safe being seen by him on deeper levels. It feels loving now instead of threatening. I did get anxious on him about his retirement when he offered to help me transition to a different T. He just ment it as an option knowing I would worry asking him to change... I heard it as him referring out long term clients. But... it was easily fixed and now I am more secure than before.