I wanted to be my T's baby, a very demanding one that can be never put down. I also told him that and he said that "you can be my baby here, during the session". I don't feel like that for a long time anymore but he says that sometimes he still find himself performing functions for me that are related to baby-parts. Probably something related to co-regulating emotions or being the only one responsible for the relationship in a moment or stuff like that.

Then I wanted to just be with him in his country home. I imagined going there for a weekend, just being there two of us, both doing our own stuff, not talking much really but just being in the presence of each other. I still sometimes think about it but that's really not an acute longing but more reflecting the feeling of the relationship we have.

We might actually become colleagues at some point but here I really hope that he retires before that