today I have been reading old journal entries (from 2015 to 2017), and I've come to the realisation that, in reality, in the 6 or so years after they were written, I've not changed much in terms of my mental health. if its my treatment, or just the fact that I'm not coping, I don't know

but that relisation was hard

the only reason I got the journal entries in the first place was because I was trying to find an old poem I wrote. I didn't find the exact one, but found a few others..

back in 2015/2016, my entries started with I'm not doing anything, I'm depressed, I feel triggered, that's pretty much how a conversation with me starts today!. uggg!. I was a mess then, and I am a mess now. wooohoo. go my life