Reading through your story made me so sad. And soooo angry that the VA system is so horribly broken.
Glad that you may be getting yo the therapy you need and deserve.
Dont give up!

I didnt address my childhood issues until a few years ago.
Been very fortunate to connect with a therapist who gets me and Ive made much progress. Its awful that Ive been able to see a therapist with no time consteaints with a small copay while your experience is so very difficult.

Wish you better going forward!