Okay, if this is a "Wellbutrin normal" I'm in trouble. I feel sooo depressed. I did not take the last tiny bit (25mg) of Pristiq last night, since my goal is (was?) to go off of it. I'm going to get my hair done, usually a real upper for me, and I just feel like crawling into bed. I feel afraid to leave my apartment, afraid to leave my cats. I see my pdoc on Tuesday, which seems right now like a month, not 4 days. It's such a relief not to be experiencing the Pristiq overheating. I feel lost, completely lost. Hopefully my mood will pick up at the salon.

I am working hard to work hard with some therapy tools. I'm really trying to change my old pattern of getting mired in depression when it hits. The techniques are enabling me to breathe well and be a little more in the moment. I'll take it.

And too, there's a stomach-clenching wallop of anxiety mixed in. That we can be in one body and carry moods that swing so dramatically amazes me.
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Hanging out with my stylist helped an inch. I pretty much faked it all the way, though. She half-seriously suggested we go kariokying some time. I could have picked it up, she would have been delighted. Of course, I didn't. The hell of doing something that social would be unbearable. How sad, sad, sad.

3 1/2 hours until I can take the Pristiq I didn't take last night. My concern is ending up on two AD's. Why can't I just accept this thing? I have a mental illness. I need meds. Meds scare me; what are they doing to my body? But maybe they're actually improving me in some ways, not harming me.
Where's bedtime, where's bedtime.