Quote:
Originally Posted by elisewin
I didn't really write what I did to suggest a friendship. I realize in most cases it is not possible or desirable. The point was rather that the longings can disappear during the therapy and also the realization, that the person once making them surface is just a very regular person and without the context of therapy would never have caused any of those feelings. Coming from someone who got to know her ex-T after therapy. Mine is really nice, we have lots in common and enjoy each other's company, but like I said, the longings and need to be cared for in a motherly fashion are not there at all. The reality is very different than the fantasies I once had.
|
Did you ever have sadness/grief when noticing the longing feelings diminish? Mine are diminishing in various ways and different levels depending on everything going on. However, I can't tell if that is because of internal growth or because I am shutting down parts and pushing her out. And I miss the good feelings I felt when that longing was stronger. I don't miss the painful feelings when the longing was stronger. I miss how I felt about myself when I felt more in touch with that part of me. Now, so little in my life feels safe enough - which is why I feel like I am shutting down - pushing her out.
There are other times where it feels like it's not a big deal because I know my T is there (which is part of the internalization of it all, I get that).
And yeah, we are talking about it.