Pach,
It is sometimes really difficult to tell if your distrust is warranted or is just a replaying of the past. I usually ask for some kind of reassurance from T each session, like, "Do you really care for me or am I just a client?," or "Am I annoying you?" etc. I have a difficult time trusting that he does care and is not just "faking it".

I hope you tell your T everything that you wrote. I know it is scary, and may lead to difficult times but working through this will inevitably help you in the end.

I'm so sorry that your childhood was so horrible and hope you can overcome the behaviors you learned ((((Pachy)))))