It is very hurtful to be treated as you are being treated. Regardless of what negative characterustics you might have (being needy, etc.), let's look at these two women for a moment. Nice persons don't agree to do something and then bow out with not even telling you. Nice persons don't use you just to have you as a bridge to get together with someone else. I don't know these two ladies. I can't say they aren't worth keeping as friends. What I would say is that neither of them is going to be a great, true friend to you. You sound more sincere in your willingness to invest in friendship with them than they are to invest in friendship with you. If they were sincere women, they wouldn't string you along just to have a connection with you for when it suits them. What I'm saying is that you may have to reclassify them as "acquaintances," rather than "friends." I suspect they regard you more as an acquaintance than as a friend. That may be hurtful to face, but it's better than constantly hoping for something that isn't there and isn't going to be there. There's nothing wrong with having acquaintances in your life. Not every relationship can involve a deeper bond and commitment. So you don't have to blow them off completely, if you'ld rather not. But you might want to scale down the extent to which you are "invested" in them. Confide less in them. Being slower to share your troubles with them and slower to look for comfort from them. Those are ways you share with a close friend, which neither of them is.

Talking with one, or both of them individually, might be a learning experience for you, but it's unlikely to change their behavior. They sound like not very caring women. If that's who they are, then what you see is what you get.

Keep trying to connect with people from all walks of your life. I hope you encounter someone with whom you could have a more satisfying friendship. Meanwhile, occasionally meeting up with these two can be a way of just practicing social skills. What you hope to get out of a friendship is reasonable and worth seeking. Not everyone you meet is available for that with you. It's disappointing, but keep circulating and cultivating others.